Children, parents do not owe you! You have to go your own way

Once upon a time, a child asked his father, “Are we rich?” Dad replied, “I have money, but you don’t.” So this child will work hard on his own since he was a child, and when he inherits his father’s ancestral business, he will also pass it on in the same way. Several generations have passed, and a century-old enterprise has been achieved. A child asked his father, “Are we rich?” The father replied, “My family has a lot of money. When I die, it will be yours in the future.” Therefore, this child has been spoiled since he was a child. , Before Dad died, they started spending a lot of money and had nothing to do all day. When they took over the property of their fathers, they quickly squandered them all. Therefore, the old saying goes: “Wealth is only three generations.”

Parental Involvement in Education | Parenting… | PBS KIDS for Parents

Warren Buffett once said: “Family gives the rich and second generation a luxurious environment and a poor life. They are not born with golden spoons in their mouths, but are born with golden daggers in their backs.” My son, what was the experience like? Do you not have to worry about material things all your life, can you enjoy the best resources in the world at any time, or can you achieve success without working hard? The answer is, no, Buffett’s son Peter, after leaving college, lives independently, not only responsible for the expenses of the music room, but also the pressure of the mortgage, no different from ordinary young people, working hard for work and life, at 19 At the age of three, after acquiring limited property, he no longer receives any property from his father. Like ordinary composers and musicians, they can only express their worth through their latest work. Peter finally achieved his own success through his own efforts, became an excellent composer, and won the “Emmy Award”, the highest honor in the American television industry.

Peter said that he was very lucky to be born in the Buffett family. It was not material. In fact, he did not enjoy too much material since he was a child, but he received a very good family education from the family and learned a good life from his father. philosophy. What makes Buffett’s homeschooling unique? There are four very important concepts (trust/tolerance/advocating education/establishing one’s own work attitude) that affect Buffett’s three children, so that they can all be their own rich generation.

Warren Buffett's son Peter talks about his music, activism and the need for  a new world view

Read another story below to better understand the differences in education between different families.

Last summer vacation, a friend sent his 13-year-old son to his aunt’s house abroad, saying that he wanted to let his son see the world and ask the aunt to take care of him. Therefore, the aunt began to “take care” of an underage boy.

As soon as he picked up the boy from the station, his aunt said something to him: “I’m your aunt, and during this month of summer, your father asked me to take care of you, but what I want to tell you is that I don’t care about taking care of you. You are not responsible for your life, because I don’t owe your father, and he doesn’t owe me, so we are equal. You are 13 years old, and you have the basic ability to live, so from tomorrow, you have to press When you get up, I am not responsible for calling you.

After getting up, you have to make your own breakfast, because I have to go to work, it is impossible to make breakfast for you, after eating, you have to clean the dishes and bowls by yourself, because I am not responsible for washing the dishes for you, that is not my responsibility , the laundry room is there, you need to wash your clothes by yourself, in addition, there is a city map and bus schedule, you can decide where to go to play by yourself, I can take you there when I have time, but if you don’t have time If so, you have to figure out the route and the driving distance, and you can play by yourself. In short, you should try your best to solve your own life problems, because I have my own things to do, and I hope your arrival will not cause me any trouble. “

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The 13-year-old boy blinked and listened to his aunt’s words, and his heart must have been touched. Because at home in Beijing, his parents are fully responsible for all his life.

Finally, when his aunt asked him if he understood, he said, “Understood.”

Yes, my aunt is right. She doesn’t owe her father, let alone herself. She is 13 years old and a big child. She can do many things, including making breakfast by herself, and going out to the place she likes.

A month later, when he returned to his home in Beijing, his family was surprised to find that the child had changed and became able to do everything. He would manage everything: fold the quilt after getting up, wash the dishes after eating, clean the house, and Using the washing machine, he can go to bed on time, and he has become polite to others… His parents admired the aunt and asked her, “What magic did you do? Let my son grow up and understand within a month? “

Pampering is not true love. Nowadays, many parents dote on their children too much. As long as they have what they have, they give them all. If they don’t have it, they always want to provide the best things in the world to their children, and even want to prepare them for the next life. The child’s own abilities and choices are ignored. As a parent, you must learn to let go, let your children understand their responsibilities and obligations, and grow up in fulfilling these responsibilities and obligations. Don’t be a parent with all-inclusive life, and avoid teaching “low-energy” children who can only learn.

A Harvard scholar once conducted a survey and research and came to an astonishing conclusion: the employment rate of children who like to do housework and those who do not like to do housework is 15:1 and the crime rate is 1:10. Children who love to do housework have lower divorce rates and lower rates of mental illness. Another expert pointed out that in the process of children’s growth, housework is closely related to the development of children’s motor skills, cognitive ability and sense of responsibility. In the United States, children, regardless of age, are important family members, so it is important to tell them their responsibilities in the family, and taking on chores is the best way.

In the United States, children, regardless of age, are important family members, so it is important to tell them their responsibilities in the family, and taking on chores is the best way. What household chores can children of different ages do?

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Those who have been lazy and do not like to work since childhood, can’t bear hardships when they grow up, have poor ability to independent and self-seeking, and have mediocre work achievements. Therefore, parents who want their children to become dragons should create an environment and conditions for their children from the beginning, give them early labor training, let them do things within their ability, and let them develop a pair of hard-working hands, which will benefit them for life. Children grow up in the experience, the more experience, the deeper the feeling. Whatever the child can do, the parents try not to do it for him. A child takes a step further and an adult takes a step back. This is called growth.

  1. Make children feel important. Cater to the child’s desire to be seen as an adult at this stage, and tell him that his work is a great help to the family, which will save more time for the whole family to have fun together.
  2. Give children the right to choose. Give your child a list of all the chores he can do, and let him/her choose one or two of them. This will make him/her feel empowered to choose and control. So willing to do the work of their choice.
  3. Make tasks detailed and demonstrate to children. A holistic concept (like “tidy up your room”) can be confusing and frustrating for a child. Break down a task into steps (put toys in toy boxes, put books on shelves, etc.) so he understands exactly what you’re asking. Also, parents should demonstrate to their child by themselves, answering all his questions until he can do it on his own. Parental patience is very important, even if he forgets a step, don’t criticize him, and happily remind him until he remembers it.
Pretty Little Girl 照片檔及更多一個人照片- iStock
  1. Forget about perfectionism. For children of this age, active participation is more important than results. If your child doesn’t wash his socks clean enough, or wipes the table light enough, don’t criticize his work. Criticism will damage your child’s self-esteem and reduce his willingness to cooperate with others. If a job requires perfection every time, it’s definitely not a job for kids.
  2. Provide children with the right tools. Don’t give your child a broom taller than him, give him a small broom to use to sweep the crumbs off the chopping board. If you want her to help you clear the table, just ask her to bring the leftovers into the kitchen for you.
  3. Be a good example to your children. Parents should never complain about the tediousness and boredom of housework in front of their children, this will send a message to children that housework is a very scary thing. Parents should try to make the child realize that helping the adult do these things as soon as possible will allow more time to play with him or her.
  4. Don’t force children. Don’t resort to a forced approach, give your child a slowdown or a little leeway. For example, “I can let you play for ten minutes, and when the ten minutes are up, you must immediately clean up your desk.” This kind of method.
  5. Offer incentives. Praise and rewards go a long way to helping your child develop good habits, and another effective strategy is to give your child a sensible plan: draw a chart for each step of the task he/she has to accomplish, whenever If she successfully completes one of the steps, she will be rewarded with a little red star. When he successfully completes the entire task, reward him with a reasonable reward that he hopes to get, pay attention, do not use money and material rewards.
Portrait of blond little girl climbing on a tree stock photo
  1. Arrange all tasks reasonably. For preschoolers, doing something repeatedly can be boring. Therefore, the content of tasks should be constantly changed, but the traditional division of labor should not be broken. For example, let the boy drag the kitchen floor, and the girl will let her do some work that requires careful attention.
  2. Give your child room to develop. Once the child has mastered the job that was given to him/her before, he/she should be given higher requirements and the scope of his/her work should be expanded. For example, he should be proficient in sorting clothes before washing, so under your guidance, he should learn how to use the washing machine.